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5101-D Backlick Road
Annandale, VA 22003

Adoption Terminology

Words not only convey facts they also evoke feelings. For example, when a TV or movie talks about a 'custody battle' between 'real parents' and 'other parents' this reinforces the inaccurate notion that only birth parents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents. Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are 'battles.'

Accurate adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these. By using accurate language, we educate others about adoption. We choose emotionally ‘correct’ words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in appropriate adoption language with the hopes of influencing others so that this language will someday be the norm.

Accurate Language Inaccurate Language

Birthparent Real parent, natural parent

My child Adopted child; Own child

Choosing an adoption plan Giving away, Giving up your child

Finding a family to parent your child Putting your child up for adoption

Deciding to parent the child Keeping your baby

Person / Individual who was adopted Adoptee

To parent To keep

Child in need of a family Adoptable child; Available child

Parent Adoptive parent

International or intercountry adoption Foreign adoption

Child who has special needs Handicapped child, hard to place

Child from another country Foreign child

Was adopted Is adopted

Birthrelative Blood relative

(Courtesy of the National Council for Adoption)


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